I live north of Boston (moved here in ‘99). This entire article is sadly 100% accurate.

I.R.S. investigation protocol: start with anyone who calls themself “MONEY”.

I hope they weren’t backhand chops to the chest because...technically those are legal.

One would think that when a team pays a player $31 million a year he’d have thicker skin.

I can’t believe all you guys are talkin’ shit!

I’ve got news for the fans of Louisville...Busty Heart isn’t walkin’ through that door, Tera Patrick isn’t walkin’ through that door, and Jenna Jameson ain’t walkin’ through that door!

I’m a teacher and recently saw a student caring for one at a local breakfast place. Surprisingly the baby wasn’t crying at all...even when the girl placed her keys and all her belongings on its face.

Springsteen wrote a song about this...Tunnel of Love (on Angel Dust)

Per game pay rate before taxes.

Gimme an exacta in the 3rd: Bogata’s Bitch, Snowblind Schnitzel and Michael Ray Richardson!

Fishing license.

Is this Deadspin or Penthouse Forum? (Either way I’m not complaining...me-ow!)

Perfectly stated.

Last week I bought a 2014 Ford Explorer XLT fully loaded 35k miles for under $25k with tax included

I thought this was fucking Deadspin?! Lou Duva dies and there isn’t a story? Christ, the sports identity on this site is getting to be as strong as the identity TruTV has in its programming. Gawker is rolling in its fucking grave!

Dear PSA,

Timmy, Timmy, Timmy...YOU know and I know that it’s not politically correct to use “massive dong” even in double entendres. Moving forward, I will respectfully ask that you use the phrase “ginormous tallywhacker” when referencing homeruns. Thanks

He’s the modern-day overpriced, conceited version of Alex English.

I get he’s a headache, but he’s a talented headache. Winning has a surprising effect on even the worst malcontents. The Pelicans made out, but they’re still not going anywhere. These teams must know a lot more than us, bc a big man who can run, has range and brings it in the paint is rare in this league. Surprised the…