Costco had the world’s best cake — the All-American Chocolate Cake — which was a huge cake slathered in milk chocolate frosting with chocolate cake inside. It was the most unhealthy thing and I bought it once a year for my birthday.

Costco had the world’s best cake — the All-American Chocolate Cake — which was a huge cake slathered in milk chocolate frosting with chocolate cake inside. It was the most unhealthy thing and I bought it once a year for my birthday.

Cake is one of those areas where I’m a huge heathen who likes the crappy stuff. Basically, cake is there to be a vehicle for frosting, and frosting needs to be so sweet it makes your teeth fall out. None of this bitter dark chocolate stuff. That’s for ritzy folks. Give me an entire can of that Duncan Hines milk…

Wait are you fucking serious? It takes 1/3 the calories to gain a pound as lose it?

No shit, Sherlock. People know donuts are unhealthy.

There will be an after. There was an after for the Spanish Flu pandemic, and there will be an after for COVID.

I just buy stuff on sale. The Star Market near where I used to live has meat sales every Saturday, and you can get several weeks’ supply of meat for utterly dirt cheap. 

Twenty-One Pilots cover band

I am so, so confused. In what America is it not okay for adults to call each other by their first names? The only times you use titles is when someone is a doctor, professor, judge, or similar. And outside of that office, you call that person their first name. Bob might be Dr. Smith in the office, but he’s not Dr.…

OK no lie, I thought the Honey Baked Ham company had done some bullshit, and I was going to shed a tear for their food. 

Looking further, you have a point. The 95% statistic is from the 1950's and is from a single study where 100 fat folks were just given a diet and told to shove off and do it, and 95% of them failed to lose weight and keep it off. They were given little support, and obesity research was in its infancy. It’s not much…

95% of diets fail, or whatever that statistic is. Bariatric surgery is the only weight loss method that sticks.

“And the amount of calories we consume on average hasn’t really changed in the last 50 years”

For some reason I thought the most expensive coffee was that civet poop stuff.

Cabbage is the only green leafy vegetable that doesn’t taste like bitter bullshit. I appreciate it.

I’m truly curious: What are the subjects? Because I promise you that you can easily learn any math that I have ever heard of a generic high school teaching. You think it’s scary because America thinks math is scary, but it’s not bad once you get into it.

I’m just not willing to pony up the cash. I’d be fine shoved in a cigar tube so long as I got to lie down, but I’m not going to pay like 2000 for it.

Seriously. If I were black, I’d be terrified to shop in a mall, because it’s so easy to set off those door alarms while browsing the racks near the door. I’d worry some rent a cop would shoot me for getting too close while holding a shirt I didn’t even try on yet.

“Ends Confusing/Crazy Math,” like what? Do you want to just teach kids what the most uneducated parents know? Is this a push to drop algebra or something? (hot take: algebra is not hard, people just make you afraid of it or don’t teach it well.)

That’s fair. I’ll allow it.