That comment is en pointe.

They’ve really raised the barre.

I mean, what if they got bored? I have very gifted kidneys, and it would not do for them not to get the stimulation they deserve.

Right there with you. Toxins are your liver and kidneys way of getting a good workout.

Jackson is a monster, it’s shameful he lasted this long.

Would have been more karmic irony if it was a Native American woman, but still, fantastic choice. And much better than replacing Hamilton.

It’s so fucking horrible. :(

J’accuse Jacuzzi.

Eh, they *might* just end up with half a heart each.

It amuses me a little that they only put together a lesbian couple on this show when a teenage boy started writing the story book.

RIP Dorothy.

Countdown to one of them dying for totes legit story reasons...

Right, zoos are just the main groups actively involved in animal conservation. But what do you really care about that? Oh right, you don’t care.

The pigtails definitely aren’t helping.

That is definitely a child bride, right?

“We were up there until 3 in the morning, just talking and looking at the lights. Then I took her home and it was the most perfect, most romantic first date ever.”

You’re a liar.

Right? And “I didn’t want to be a zoophile. I was trying to do everything I could to avoid this animal”? How hard could it possibly be to avoid a fucking dolphin?! Just because an animal humps your leg does not mean it’s cool for you, a human, to have sex with it. That’s not how it works.

she was intellectually pretty much my equal.