This is a joke, right?

I still shower every day, but for a brief, desperate period a few years ago I only had cold water showers. The situation was terrible for a number of reasons, but it was honestly the best my skin has ever been. I still can’t resist hot showers if they’re available, though.

Right!! This is the sort of shit that makes me feel like I've slipped out of reality.

I’ve been watching a lot of 30 Rock lately and I honestly thought I dreamt this show up after falling asleep in front of one of the Milf Island episodes.

I think a Biden/Klobuchar ticket will be a great way to ensure what I'm assuming is the DNC's goal of massively losing the election. 

They need to use that Fact Check option a bit more liberally. Like on every single one of his tweets.

Funny story, I do have bad eyesight, and my doctor recommends I drive a 48km round trip, sans spectacles, every year just to make sure that my eyesight is, in fact, still fucking terrible. But obviously this year we’re in lockdown, there are safety issues, etc, so he recommended I drive 96km with a child I couldn’t be…

Whatever dirt he’s got, I almost don’t want to know what it is. It must be really bad. I definitely want to know what it is.

Oh wow the Tights Are Not Pants people really do have a website. Get a life, guys, and go bother your apparently extremely tolerant friends with your Comfortable Clothes Are Not Clothes weirdness.

This is projection. Trump always accuses others of whatever he's guilty of himself. He just fixated on this one woman because even his supporters would notice of he accused a newsreader of killing 100,000 people.

I never want to hear about these terrible people or their doomed offspring ever again, but I REALLY want to know how this dropped Scrabble game of a name is pronounced. From Grimes’ explanation (which is barely coherent on its own) I got “Zasha Twelve”.

No. Shit. Can't imagine why a grown man would want out of his crucial role as "The Spare".

I mean, I have no dog in this fight, but isn't a vampire technically dead? I feel like that exempts you from pretty much everything.

I’m a bit late to this, but two weeks ago I wrote on here that my father was dying, and asked for funny things to distract me. I just wanted to say that he died on Tuesday, without any pain, and I'm really grateful to all the people who wrote nice things and sent me silly distractions. Hope you all are safe and well. 

Yeah, this poor woman knows she’s been lied to and is trying to contend with that while essentially being gaslighted by the person she should be able to trust the most. I think the fact that this person even said that she was more hurt by the lying than the cheating, AND THEN claimed to be sure that their wife never…

I’d definitely be down to postpone them. Maybe by like ten years? Kill the awards season campaigns and make movies that have to survive a decade of memes and TV repeats on their merits. 

I have never heard of Alison Roman outside of Jezebel gossip articles, but I do feel a bit bad for her that her stock photo on this site is in that absolutely heinous dress.

All I could hear while he was spewing that rubbish was Toni Morrison asking, “What are you without racism? Are you any good?... Do you still like yourself?”.

Could Naomi not just stay the fuck home?

I did see him call Obama “grossly incompetent” today, so add that to the list of way-too-on-the-nose projections.