This just to say, you're right, everyone should read that book. It is legit batshit.

I’m more concerned about disrespecting what’s still in there but I take your point. I was at the beach two days ago and got closer to a stingray than I would choose to be. I ceded to the ray.

Where I live, you’re legally an adult at 18, and that includes being able to drink. It doesn’t make sense to me that the US treats 18 year olds as adults for the purposes of army recruitment, marriage, voting, etc, but they can’t have a drink?

Every time I skim past the Trump tweets, I always think, wow, that’s a lot of exclamation marks for such a stable genius.

I did pause to enjoy the idea of the President’s daughters trying to use fake IDs, because that’s hilarious. But yeah, leave the President’s kids alone when they’re just being kids.

This is the only sort of cruise I would remotely consider attending*. And I think you’re making some sweeping assumptions about the age group this will appeal to most.

When I saw "Florida Man" I just assumed that he organised for himself to be the defendant. Or maybe his fiancee.

“Jesus fan fiction”. Hell yes. That’s basically all the New Testament is.

Every time I hear someone point to a Yale education like it says something great about them, I remember that George W Bush went to Yale. And George W Bush is a fuckwit.

You are not wrong.

Maybe peanuts are like dogs and have dicks that just slide into view when they’re excited, like nightmare lipsticks.

The whole rest of the world* is here for you, mate. We can walk you through it.

Wait, this is so important to you that even you don’t want to say it?

I know. Madness.

(3) also focuses the story back on their pain, at the accusations/consequences, rather than the pain they’re directly responsible for in other people.

Maybe the reason I’m so unforgiving of this shit is because I never believe them when they say that. They knew, they know, they do it anyway. If they didn’t think it was bad, they wouldn't try to hide it.

Ohhh my god.

As Ellen said, "eat pizza! Wear baggy clothes!"

For real, though. The metric system. It’s so much better and it won’t hurt a bit. Love yourselves, guys.

I’ve looked at this photo like five times, but every time I scroll away, my brain is like, no, that could not be right. You didn't see that.