I was engaged for a while and spent most of it trying to convince my fiance to elope. We split up instead, thank god, but I still can’t believe anyone can be arsed to plan a wedding. My sister is doing at the moment and it seems like a royal pain.

Ohhh. No no no no no.

Wait, wtf, why do these photos exist?

Well, he did get the White House.

I’ve never actually seen Alex Jones speak before, so, you know, holy shit. But also, didn’t Jones just spend a chunk of his recent divorce proceedings trying to convince a judge that this is all an act? That he’s a performance artist? He sells a false character and elicits real money, influence and social damage. Was…

I just realised that Eric has the skin tone that Donald Sr must have under all that fake tan. He looks like over-boiled chicken.

It is Sunday and cold and miserable, I have to work and I’m still a week from holidays, and I am so DEEPLY jealous of your gorgeous, ridiculous dog. That’s all. I hope you can relax. Give your dog a cuddle from me.

Australia.

I have no particular allegiance to Rebel Wilson, but this whole case really pissed me off. Like it’s unheard of and hideously unethical for a performer to use a different name or fudge their birthdate? Bob Dylan was legend for inventing wild bullshit stories about himself when he used to give interviews and that was…

The weirdest thing I’ve realised across pop culture etc is this underlying assumption that straight, white men are more interesting than everyone else. Not more relatable, or whatever other bullshit reason, but just inherently more interesting. It is so baffling to me. I’ve met them. They’re not. And on top of that,…

Honestly it’s starting to sound like maybe she also doesn’t like theatre. Maybe someone should go to her house and set her up with a few episodes of Matlock?

Turnbull is an amoral asshole chosen to put a respectable face on a party of racists, homophobes and climate change deniers. Literally his only good point is that he’s not Tony Abbott.

Lamb Chicken.

Thank you, that was very helpful. And interesting. I’ve learnt so much more about the US electoral system since DJT was elected. By the by, the electoral commission​ in my country has started taking formal measures to defend our elections against foreign interference. The vulnerabilities in the US system have put a…

I’m not American and I don’t really know anything about the specifics of US government, but is there any provision for early elections in the US? I mean, if it does come to light that the Russians obstructed the democratic process, and then the Trump administration actively obstructed investigation into the…

When he’s lucid enough, I have no doubt that Trump is very, very scared.

I lived in London for two years and sounded like a local after less than three months. My family hated it and teased me whenever I called, but I couldn’t help it. My native accent only came through when I was verrry drunk. After I came home it wore off within a few days. Because of this I’m willing to give Lohan a…

It’s boring but also sooo creepy! If I hadn’t known the gist of the plot before I saw it I honestly would have thought it would end with him killing her. A friend and I thought it would be funny to make fun of but I spent half the movie just yelling at the TV, “don’t go with him, call the police! Get a restraining…

This is what really pissed me off: “I want you to school me. I did a bad thing,”

This is so absolutely true of every drink except water, which should be room temperature.