It might be on private land but as a resident of a community you’re obliged to present your property within certain parameters; not a gardener? That’s fine, it’s only a few shrubs. Want to store 5 wrecks in various states of disrepair on your front garden? Rent some storage space and fuck off! Rules of living in a…

We don’t have a culture of valet parking in the UK and it blows my mind that anyone would let some piece of shit college dropout ass-clown have their keys.

Aw that Golf is cute, but I prefer to do my shopping in a Boba Motorsport 1233bhp rage monster

Ew, US spec bumpers on the Merc, y u ruin all our nice cars America!

We call it filtering here, and it’s one of the many incentives for getting out of cars and onto bikes, motorbikes and scooters, along with free parking for motorbikes, advance stop lines for cycles and the use of bus lanes for motorbikes and cycles.

I don’t want to give Schmee150 too much credit, I find him deeply wretched, but he justified his Ford GT success by saying he would be driving it, showing it off, cruising the mean streets of central London in it, and generally getting it out there and getting excited about it.

Can we stop calling them ‘techs’? It makes them sound way more skilled than it is, i.e. turning spanners and pouring fluids.

Watch this and tell me you wouldn’t want 20 of these motherfuckers opening the gates of Hell over Monza

Bet you that fucking shithead Shmee150's getting one. Money talks, sadly.

If anyone hasn’t already, try and get hold of James May’s programs for the BBC on his own, he recently pieced together a guitar, a lawnmower and something else, I forget what, in a shed; brilliant. No, I’m not 50 yet.

Of course, Critical Mass doesn’t kill anyone.

I can only speak for the London Critical Mass, but once a month, a small number of vehicles are inconvenienced for a small amount of time so that cyclists can make a big point.

Obviously Critical Mass is timed to make the point that bikes have as much right to the road as cars do and we should, and can, all get along. Oh can you hear that...?

Dude, get some air, this is getting embarrassing now.

You seem to be doing politics wrong

Love him or hate him, motorsport needs characters like Hamilton. It’s the ONE thing Bernie is right about.

On the subject of accommodation, for budgetary reasons I always camp in one of the Camping & Caravan Club sites nearby (nice, atmospheric, well kept sites with local country pubs to eat battered cod and get battered in), the one I go to is only a short drive away and far nicer than the ruinously expensive and muddy…

PROTIP: If you drive an Audi take your key, they have a free trackside pavilion for owners that was a godsend on the Saturday when the rain went a bit Apocalypse Now

It’s not an M5 anymore, the M5 bit basically means the engine

Drifting. Is. Not. A. Sport.