I’m not an attorney. But it seems to me that the court system is set up to have the two sides do their jobs as aggressively as possible, with the judge or jury left to sort it out. One side can’t pull punches—it would wreck the system.

Gotcha.

Mr. Z, can I have a porter take those bags under your eyes?

As an old white man, I am mystified.

And, in turn, we, as consumers, can boycott the companies that theoretically pull out of the NFL, to show our dismay. This is how you wield influence as a consumer who has strong feelings on issues. To suggest that people shouldn’t do that is...ummm, what?

As a journalist, I am sympathetic to the employees trapped by a paycheck. But I have to say: ethics are ethics, standards are standards. Economic pressures are usually at play in getting journalists to compromise their morals. It’s more frightening to me that people are not empowered enough to take a stand despite the…

Friday news dump, no question.

I have a tiny penis, but I don’t openly lust after my daughter.

Literally a potato sack.

What a magnificent gif.

No harm, no foul.

None of this surprises me in the slightest.

Alas, I believe the joke might have gotten past you ...

Wow, he’s really on a sugar high with adults all gone, isn’t he?

I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger.

Any Waco residents out there? I’m dying to know what locals think of Chip and Joanna, and their expanding empire that seems to be swallowing the town up whole with ship lap, wood floors and open layouts.

I’m not sure they’re mutually exclusive.

You can see it in his eyes: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

If you look close, you can see the erections.

Yep, yep. Stipulated. All fair points.