Tell Us About a Horrifying Thing Your Fuck Buddy Has in Their Home

Yeah, the hamburger bun is the only part I’m having a hard time with here. The ricotta and jam part? Delicious. Hamburger bun? Dry and boring. A bagel or brioche roll would have been better. 

If it had been an english muffin, scone, crumpet, brioche, or toast I’d be more ok with it.

That NYT Bikini article you referenced is next level. Before I even clicked on it I knew which bikini it was. There’s enough twists and turns in that story for it to be a movie.

Who wouldn’t want Megan Mullaly to rock one of their dresses on camera???

Wut

LMAO look what the Nixon Library posted this afternoon.

She paid $233 WITH INSURANCE? I’m flabberghasted at how utterly FUCKED the system is at perceiving who is committing which crimes in this story!

I don’t think you could have a prouder moment than turning yourself in because you fraudulently obtained some medicine for a poor and sick child.

You guys, I just need to get this out.

He IS Trump’s nemesis BECAUSE he’s so much richer than Trump. He’s a legit billionaire. Trump is not. Trump is jealous of anyone with more money than him. Trump is jealous of Bezos, has always been jealous of Bezos, and he’s brought up x-million different ways he wants to punish Amazon and the Washington Post purely…

Are we all really taking the stance that unsolicited kissing/fondling of the breasts without prior consent would be okay if she was a confirmed adult? Because I’m over 40, and will punch you in the fucking face—if not lower.

SMASHED PENIS IN BETWEEN TWO WHEELBARROWS

Dear girls: you are under no obligation to be nice to someone who creeps you out. You do not need to date a guy just because he says you're the love of his life. And you do not have to "give him a chance".

So hold on, a girl who is trafficked and preyed upon, forced in prostitution, kills a man who picks her up, is given over 50 years, but a grown ass man killing his girlfriend, pouring bleach on her, and not calling 911 until she’s definitely dead only gets 3 years? Yeah, I can definitely see how he’s more capable of…

Or just Google the terms/phrases you don’t understand, you grumpy smurf lol.

I get the impression Sarah Summers spent a lot of high school gym class throwing tampons in the shower at bullied girls. I also get the impression that her mother told the school administration officials that everyone is just jealous of her daughter, which is the REAL problem!

That part had me ROLLING! The anticipation was killing my ass. What the fuck is she going to do at the end of this slow-ass Vaseline preparation routine?

“they’re not letting me hit her” is a thing she screamed out. “don’t they see I’m white and she isn’t? Why are they stopping me” is how I believe that was supposed to be heard.