Fascinating. That number—135—is so specific. How did you come to the conclusion that you could not have sex with someone who weighed over that number? Because that’s awfully specific, and it’s kind of curious—especially since you don’t mention height.

What if it’s under the seat in front of you? Okay or not okay?

I assumed she was killed, and thought now this, *this* is a martyr. Suicide bombers who see themselves as such? Nah, this is the real thing.

Someone should tell her about that new surgery they have, the c-section.

“not having any idea you literally can’t find a photographer that doesn’t make you look like someone who got pregnant at the age of 17 for less than $3500.”

Jesus Christ, fire this bitch already. What the hell is this? She’s shown up at work repeatedly and *refused to perform the duties associated with her position.* In what other job could you do this and not get fired?

I’m beginning to suspect you wanting to sleep with other women wasn’t the only reason your girlfriend left. You are a truly unpleasant and ugly (on the inside) person. May you find a girlfriend who is more like you. As for your ex, bully for her that she got away from you.

Do you understand *why* everyone is saying that? He’s basically decided that the terms of their relationship are going to change—but without her knowledge or consent. It’s a sleazy, low down way to behave.

Your girlfriend was lucky to get away from you. Hopefully next time you’ll manage to find someone more on your level.

My sapphire is heat treated (the saleswoman told me when we were looking at it). I could care less. It’s beautiful.

So true. Blue is my favorite color, so I knew I wanted a blue sapphire. My fiance knows nothing about jewelry, so someone suggested I make a pinterest board and pin rings I liked. I did so; he got one of them from Ross-Simons (terrible, had to return it twice) and I finally found the right one at a local…

I was too old for uncomfortable shoes when I was 25. It always annoyed the hell out of me when I’d go out with friends and they would wear these high heels and complain “my dogs are barkin” all the time. Now, you knew those shoes make your feet hurt, so why do you keep wearing them, dummy? Stop that.

Why does she still have a job? If she has shown up to work repeatedly and refused to perform the duties associated with the position, they surely have reason to fire her.

Me too. Except I’m not as nice—I say “Pay attention to where you’re going!”

I know that it’s supposed to be pronounced “Ginger” but whenever I see the name, I can’t help pronouncing it to rhyme with ‘ringer.’

Wow, I guess they adult ones will have to....get actual jobs. In the real world. My heart bleeds.

My mother gave these to me, my grandmother and aunt. The Snuggie is fabulous, you have no idea what you are missing. You will pry mine from my dead hands.

Your son is smarter than many adults.

That’s a set up. Someone positioned that snake so it’s weight would press down on the door handle, et voilà! At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself. That’s an albino python; I know because we have a similarly large specimen at work. I do not want to believe that it can open doors. And slither up behind…

Minor quibble. Some cats (not most) can be convinced to walk on a leash, which is perfectly fine. Also, if you’ve got the room, you can make a “catio” where the animal can be outdoors but which it can’t escape from.