“Unless using the following phrase, “That fucking cock-shit Chip Kelly is a bitch asshole” which will result in a coupon for one (1) free small soda at a later date.”

Reading the fan code of conduct, I think this section, 12.1a applies:

Talk about Koreshing my hopes and dreams, amirite?

Thank god she wasn’t at Baylor!

I explained shade to my parents and my dad said: “There’s a word for what your mom does?” He now rejoices in pointing out shade where he finds it. He’s extremely accurate.

“While we’re out here throwing “direct shade,” I think I’ll enjoy a nice bowl of piping hot ice cream, followed by a refreshing bone-dry shower and call up the president-elect for a bit of moral guidance.”

What a #fingerinthebootyassbitch thing for him to say!

“Bush doesn’t care about black people.” -Kanye West, 2005.

Allegedly the fastest car in the world is car referred to as “My Buddy’s Mustang”. I hear about it at every car show but have yet to lay eyes on it.

Making rape jokes doesn’t make you a sarcastic, contrary asshole. It just makes you an asshole.

Anyone slightly familiar with his sense of humor and the way he conducts interviews can clearly see that he is mostly being sarcastic. He also enjoys playing the contrary asshole.

LOL that blog as your receipts is in itself problematic. It’s a perfect example of the Tumblr mentality of taking everything way too seriously and completely too far. Half of those quotes are Freeman being clearly sarcastic (not to mention the blog is unfamiliar with Freeman’s sense of humor), but of course forget…

The context was removed. I’m giving that tumblr post a big eyeroll. For starters, he was once asked which fictitious LOTR race he thinks is sexiest — a dumb question about things that aren’t real. Then he was asked several follow-up questions about how the sex could occur between different species of creatures.…

Me too. My roommate was, come to find out, a huge drug supplier from Detroit. His fridge was stolen from the DEA as it still had the tape on the back. I came back after a super long day at 10 after work and found the cops tearing my room up. The worst part was they had my teddy bear from my grandmother when I was a…

+1 for archaic slang - “booted”

My first dorm roommate was a senior who was dating a junior at a local HS and wasn’t around very often, but I would have to leave when she would visit. He moved out after the first quarter (because who wants semesters) and for the next quarter, had the dorm to myself. Came back from spring break and new roommate was…

This isn’t a horror story, but it’s definitely a weird one: I walked into my freshman dorm room one day and found my roommate, Jen, in bed with her best friend Ann. Okay, whatever, it was a women’s college blah blah.

“While he was there, he had a roomate he really loved masterbating”

“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”