OH HELL YES. I had to quit yoga classes (expense) and my few halfhearted attempts at home led to the realization the cats' goal in life is to make me crash land onto them. Their lives are nothing compared to such a triumph.

This is poignent for me today, as this morning I was downward dogging and for some reason, The Gremlin decided that that was the time to get suuuuuper excited and do laps around my yoga mat, barking.

My cat does this. She's all like meatloafy and inwardly focused until I try to do exercise and then she's like a cuddly little purring machine. GO AWAY KITTY. GO AWAY. It's like she wants me to lose muscle tone so I become weak and she can gain control to the apartment.

My cat Dutchess wouldn't leave you alone if you were in out little back yard. That was her space, and she had to show you all around it! And show you how she could jump from grass to 6 foot pillar with helicoptric precision! And a lot of meow, meow, meow! Purrrrs!

My cat does this, except I don't do yoga. This is what he does when I crochet- he just walks across my boobs, then settles so I can't see my work. And then when I move my work, he moves too so he can lay on it again. Stupid cat.

Mr. Servo does a variety of floor-required exercises (P90x and so forth), and I will literally just sit on the couch and take photos of our golden retriever trying to work out with him. He knows he's not SUPPOSED to be there - he knows he is annoying his father, but he just. can't. help. himself. He kind of starts off…

YES!!! My dog (lab/beagle mix - we think) does this, too. "YOU'RE ON THE FLOOR, I NEED TO WALK ON YOU AND LICK YOUR HEAD." Or "YOU'RE LIFTING YOUR LEG TO THE SIDE, THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN, LET ME CHASE YOUR MOVING FOOT!" Funnier if my husband is the one stretching on the floor because he is self-conscious about his…

just going to take a moment to pat myself on the back.

I can top that. My dressmaker was dowtown during 9/11. Her shop had soot and grime everywhere. Without any other choice, she took all her dresses home to work on them. She had dresses due the weekend after 9/11 and the next, and she had to work from home with all these dresses in bags swelling in on her for weeks. So,…

I'm still sad about my dress appointment. I invited my mom and my sister. I was so excited to be getting married, I guess I just wanted to feel special. I thought they would like being asked, huge mistake. My mom checked out, mentally. She was like a doll or a shell or something. Barely spoke. My sister squinted at me…

I've been looking at non-white department store options for my wedding dress and keep clicking on the ones that end up being tagged "mother of the bride." I can't even muster the energy to be offended.

Yea, it was yellow and grey, tea length, and less than a hundred bucks. I live it and still wear it all the time. My mom hates it and has a hissy fit every single time I wear it. I am immature as fuck so I wear it around her every chance I get.

No one had ever worn it before! And even if they had... who cares? My friend had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL wedding gown that she's selling online. There's someone out there who is going to be SO HAPPY.

BAHAHA - the only thing I've managed to do is swing my arm back too far and take out a small child with a rogue bowling ball that flew off my hand. Oh and the time I swung my arm, the ball got stuck on my hand and I went two feet down the slick lane before the ball fell off.

When I was little, I was struck by a car…

I'm a smoker - so was my boyfriend at the time. So I wouldn't have to get up and leave his lovely penis (it really was quite lovely) Id brought an ashtray into my bedroom. My headboard is flat on top and I set it there Bc there was no shelf space in my room. We got particularly rowdy during sex that night and the…

Seriously, the was the first thing I thought when I saw the look on her face. I came to read the comments to see if any posted something like this.

"Him:You are a smelly pirate hooker!Her: You look like a blueberry!Him: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!Her: Well, you have bad hair!Him: [shocked] What did you say?Her: I said... your hair... looks stupid!"

Her?

Ahhhh. The look I like to leave my ex-boyfriends with. Are you gonna cry? ARE YOU GONNA CRY?