Diana,within the USB drive is all the secrets of the afterlife. They’re keeping it very DL.

auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhh noooooo that last one noooooooooooooo

This is the first year I had already read every story (but the emailed one) in the comments. I’m sad.

Raiden. And it turns out he’s named after a character in Mortal Kombat. I’m a former teacher and I can tell you that many of us have HAD IT with the -aidens and all their variants. -ayden, -aydyn, -aidinn, -aidynn, -ayton, -ayten, etc. A colleague once wondered aloud how long it will be until Schmegaiden. It is…

Whatevs. The main cast male actors (not Micah) on that show is bang-able. Different levels- but still.

*reads list carefully*

The greggiest Greg who ever gregged.

Bullshit! I’m a fucking 14 (out of 10)* and I sit in a windowless office all and look at spreadsheets all day.

Really? Who would that be?

I met a kid named tayden the other day. Is he ever gonna get laid by anyone who’s not named McBraylynn?

We’ve all been there. I’ll never forget the “Creed on accidental repeat” incident of 2006.

Right? Where’s the creativity? Personally, I like wooing my partners by fucking to the beat and tempo of the Scatman

It actually is really hard to do my job because yes, I am hot. #premenopause #canIgetafanbitches

I am embarrassed to say that in college I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch for a year. I was one of those girls who had the very boring job of standing at the entrance of the store for hours and saying “Have you tried our sexy fleece?” to every customer who walked in. I also had the delightful job of dousing their…

These people and their cognitive dissonance is astounding. I once had a woman tell me about how she hid income to qualify for Medicaid and then in the same breath said that it was the illegals (her word, never mine) who are really taxing the system.

Trump wanted to save the British baby that was brain dead, but this little brown girl who has spent her entire life in America? Nah, f$&k her.

True words. I’d rather invite Dave to my Halloween party, hopefully bringing his DeNiro impression.

As an autistic person it blows my mind that people would rather have a dead kid than an autistic one.

Huh, my favourite magician has always been Harry Houdidn’tgrabmyass.