Can we perhaps accept that there’s a moral difference between entering a closed supermarket to get food - that’ll go bad anyway - and water, and ramming a store to take off with an ATM? And that for all the entirely legitimate distrust American police forces inspire, maybe the combined machinery of law enforcement and…

Eh, if you’re caught looting food or water, and the city wants to waste resources prosecuting it...great use of funds, I guess? Way to go, guys?

“Truly, is one person’s livelihood amid a natural disaster worth upsetting the profit margin for merchandise that’s going to be written off as an insurance loss anyway?”

I’m thinking more stretched taffy Martin Short.

It’s that she can’t connect with anyone looking for more than a ‘good lookin blond with nice legs’ to feed them pap that reinforces their worldview.

I don’t know why people would trust him after he tried to ruin Christmas.

There’s a woman I went to school with who posted a status update about a year ago that she had finally fulfilled her lifelong dream, one that she had nurtured throughout her childhood in an incredibly poor African country. That dream? To go to a service at Lakewood fucking Church. The top of my head blew clear off

When I was little, my mom bought me a comic book that showed me how deal with these weirdos.

The evangelicals could stand to recruit some new staff to try and up the conversion rate. I’m sure this would be successful:

I had an evangelical* try to convert me. Told him I was a (not very good) Catholic and he was like, “eh, too much effort. You’re beyond saving” and tried for my aethiest roommate instead.

I’ve had pretty good results with Beer and Duct tape.

I’m the exact opposite. I’ll probably die because I ignored the symptoms of lock jaw and just drank a Gatorade and took some Tylenol.

Hold up. That woman is not my FLOTUS.

“Later, spotting a crowd of people, he said “What a crowd!” and “What a turnout!”

Sorry, did you call for Corpus Christie?

The rest of the elite disaster-response team walks resolutely across the tarmac:

The issue with Jenner is that she, many times, has referred to her desire to be an ambassador for the transgendered community. She was also more than willing to stand up and receive all the awards and praise and financial benefits that initially came with her revelation of who she was.

It’s hard to resist posting this one on every Trump related article. I’m still on my season end high, so fuck it...

Her problem is, she still thinks like a rich white man.

She’s not wrong. Is Caitlyn that wed to tax cuts that she’s going to keep supporting a group that has made it clear that they don’t want her support?