Seriously, owls will fuck your shit up. They don’t play. And I say this as a person whose first word was “owl” and has loved them all my life.

What do you know? Turns out electing progressive, intelligent women to high levels of government is good for women and families. Thanks for today’s only good news!

If my husband and I ever get a dog, it will likely be a retired racing greyhound. But we know of a rescue who specializes in retired racing greyhounds, and they are taught how to “dog” before they get adopted out. And the rescue will assess your lifestyle and recommend a dog for you, instead of you just picking one.

I’ve heard that greyhounds are usually extremely lazy, and most of them just need two or three 15 minute walks a day, and one really good run in a fenced area once a week. Of course, the lady was talking about retired racing greyhounds.    

Greyhounds you just need an endless disposable income since they get hurt constantly and require all kinds of special attire. Otherwise they’re hella easy and surprisingly lazy. But woo boy, are they gonna cost you.

I happened upon a husky mix 5 years ago and after several weeks of searching for her home with no luck, decided to keep her. She is the sweetest dog but Jesus is she hard work. They’re escape artists and runners and will not stop. After an entire year of obedience school and a real-time GPS collar, we’re a lot…

They come with don’t-give-a-fuck pockets.

For a brief moment, I had a soft spot in my cold, jaded heart; I even thought (naively) “Maybe she has gained some personal insight, has remorse, and is willing to function as an example of exactly how this administration really views women (looking at you, the 53% of white women who voted for Orange Smarmalade); she…

Sorry, no sympathy here. I abide by the following mantra: if you associate with garbage, you’re also garbage. If you belong to a minority and associate with GOP garbage, you’re self-hating garbage. She’s only complaining because she isn’t aboard the gravy train.

Vice has a very good on the ground piece. They were there to document the rally from the beginning and got access and interviews with one of the leading pieces of shit.

So, Amber was Heard.

He narrates the audiobook of that one as well, and it’s fantastic.

Ugh. You had to go and remind me that Breitbart even exists. Also just remembered InfoWars

If Fox News goes bankrupt, how will POTUS learn everything that he needs to know about events in the world? It’s not like he has access to the most powerful intelligence agencies on the planet who could supply him with in-depth information on important issues. Nope. He needs soundbites that he can rage Tweet about.

Hannah, Parmageddon is way better than Cheddarmegeddon. It’s important to me that you know that.

I hope Pizza Rat sneaks in the penthouse and drops a pepperoni turd on his face while he sleeps.