*fist-bump* Bring on the milk and cookies.

Gluten is fucking awesome.

At this point, I feel like I'm the only person in this country who can eat milk products and gluten with no problem.

I think that the whole blood bank thing is just a cover up to feed the vampires among us, and clearly those vampires are also homophobic.

But how will I feel morally superior to strangers, Ari? How will being a tactful human being fulfill that need?!

There's always poor people in developing countries.

Oh, but if we could do that, what would we do with all our leftover self righteousness?

They really need to quit pushing other down to make themselves taller. I have grew up dirt poor, upper poor, then to upper middle class. It felt like everyone wanted to tell us we were doing something wrong.

I read this story off of a reddit link, and a lot of people also came to her defense in keeping the car. The fact is, a known vehicle with a known maintenance history is a relatively smart decision over selling and getting a possible clunker. Controlling risk is just as important as controlling finances.

"World's sourest little grape."

When on Fox News it is a requirement to constantly mention the military. When a Republican it is a requirement to cut all government services that help the military.

Maybe they're afraid of it because a three-humans-and-a-dog marriage* would be THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER, and they're a bunch of joyless fucktards?

I'm gay & mostly Californian— where's my two spouses and a dog? I want my HUSBAND DOG.

I'm so excited for Poly with a Collie to be my favorite sitcom next year!

I wish these Fox commentators would stop talking about their personal fantasies on air.

Welp. You've got to give him this - he found a way to besmirch the reputation of carnies, a feat hitherto thought impossible. Congratulations...?

This all happened right next to the military recruiting booth in a case of extreme irony.

Read that as Salmonella Heisenberg. Pictured a chicken in a fedora yelling, "I AM THE DANGER." I don't think I slept quite enough last night.

Snooty reminder to purchase whole chickens and break them apart yourself. The more a chicken is handled by a processor, the more likely it will come into contact with bad bacteria. This also means you can keep extra pieces like wing tips, back bones, and giblets in your freezer so you can make chicken stock.

I strongly believe that if welfare recipients should be drug tested, so should recipients of corporate subsidies. They're taking money from the government and ultimately taxpayers, so if a humiliating urine test is necessary for small handouts, it must certainly be even more appropriate for those who receive millions.…