Flying monkeys win hands down! I'm still scared of the mangy beasts.

I love Willow, esp. when she brings back Buffy!

Katie, dear, I will miss your sense of humor and your passionate voice for justice. Give 'em hell, girl.

Cheerleading and football are the major religion of Texas. How dare that little tart miss practice!?! And she calls herself a Christian.

Nietzsche is aging Burgundy, the deep hints of lacquer, pine and raspberry are but shadows of the past-reeking of regret and vinegar, a slurry of dust clings to the tongue.

Syrah is that unidentifiable mixed race guy with the 5 o'clock shadow and bemused expression you sat across from on the train to Rome. You wanted to say something to him but were too befuddled on booze and fatigue. When he got off at the station you realized he had stolen your passport.

He wishes!

It was a little misunderstanding at Culloden.

Bourbon is a girl's best friend, he loves Nina Simone and Miles, and tells her she's beautiful when her clothes no longer fit. Oh yeah. Bourbon is your second husband.

Glenlivet has a smoky bass voice that gets lost in the sound of the waves as he bids you a lust (unrequited) and longing-filled farewell. The sun catches in that wild Gaelic hair and the sound of the pipes cry all around you. You're overwhelmed with the urge to "Kill the English!" and you suddenly understand why…

Well, he was gonad the time the bride was told.

When I worked in an abortion clinic the crazies would routinely put glue in our locks. We would still open but would take several hours to clear the locks. These people whine about being persecuted, I say let's make it so.

Gronk has itty, bitty penis but great, big gun!

Ok, I see this as a first amendment issue. My religion holds that life begins when the fetus exits the mother's body and becomes a baby. Moreover, my religion holds that you can't compel someone to risk their life. When a pregnancy threatens a woman's health or life she has the DUTY, that's right, the duty to end…

One reason I loathe high school and collegiate sports teams is the sense of entitlement they instill in these young men. Several times my independent academic assignment was converted to "group" project by the teacher/instructor assigning a jock to "work" with me. Of course, I had an A in the course and I was a…

Margaret Sanger deserves a public holiday to celebrate the many lives she saved and the many spirits she set free. We were discussing among ourselves at lunchone day how ppeople don't appear to age as rapidly as they used to. Much of that is do to better nutrition and advances in medicine. But, the greatest change…

Oooh! Come to Portlandia! I promise to take you to Voodoo Donuts.

Catholic child kidnapping?

I got into an argument with an aged white docent at Monticello over Sally Hemmings, Jefferson's sex slave. She looked like a miniature, female founding father (the docent, that is). She was apoplectic when I brought up Ms Hemmings. She insisted that was a rumor by his political enemies. That was before DNA…

I like how it was "after" he died. Didn't cost him anything.