The brains of SI's marketing staff must be smaller than Nelson Mandela's prison cell!

@Ugueth Urbina's Machete: No, but really, fuck this guy.

@Ugueth Urbina's Machete: Seriously - who drives a minivan?

@Pete Gaines: My thoughts exactly.

Sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about Hef here - Hef from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there.

A confused Lou Dobbs wants this woman deported ASAP.

@Weed Against Speed: +1

Ma'am, I'm sorry; you must be misinformed. California upheld the ban on marriage for "you people".

This must be from that new magazine, "Famous Athletes at 45-degree Angles"

Initially, I thought that this picture was stolen from another popular website, but I don't see the "hot chicks" anywhere.

Barry Zito Is An Optical Illusion

Just to fuck with his sons, he lists them both as "DOUBTFUL" under the "Will you support us financially into our late thirties?" report every week.

Dear Mr. Cohen,

@LingeringBursitis: While his comment was definitely pointless and unnecessary, the "You think soccer is boring? You're a xenophobe!" response is much more ridiculous (and tiresome).

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: +1

Shortly after the handshake, the referee gave the Pope a yellow card for flopping on top of an altar boy.

Martellus Bennett has no idea what any of that shit is.

Tim McCarver loves the idea of innings-based football, saying, "If you kicked a field goal in your half inning, you would have three points in that half inning because a field goal is worth three points."

he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capitals and Nationals

and the size of the Jack in the Box drive thru menu, which really is fucking huge…