"From one Florida running back to another, congrabulashions, Fred, on a fantaculous career."

I think the only time I've ever practiced discrimination against the large-breasted are during the rare occasions when I've chosen "teen cheerleaders" sites over "horny MILFs" sites.

@Weed Against Speed: Wow - horrible, but I laughed.

All-white tennis shoes? She's got to be a Gator fan.

"Attention! Be on the lookout for a bicycle matching the following description: Made of some type of metal, has two wheels, single testicle indentation the seat. Over."

I know I couldn't be the only person disappointed to see that there were no additional posts with the "ballroom dancing upskirt" tag.

@Pete Gaines: Whoa - are you saying that the next franchise that struggles shouldn't hand over the reins to Rusty LaRue?

Instead of a gold blazer, they're just renamed "Goldblazer."

English footballer Michael Chopra learns about his upcoming divorce when his wife changes her Facebook status. "Michael is now sad."

It's only fair to use this opportunity to remind everyone of UNW's comment (6:24pm) below the post that originally mentioned this - one of the funniest I've ever seen:

"Plus, I'm white! Ha!"

That's not hot.

@Torgo's Executive Powder: of course I do! Nice reference.

@Doyle McPoyle: I suppose it's better than THE MENTALIST ON CBS.

A bailout for a sports endeavor that's hemorrhaging money? What does this look like, the WNBA?

Discouraging toymakers from making dolls offering false representations? I wish someone had thought of this before I left home and lived in a fucking sewer in an effort to be more like those talking, pizza-eating turtles.

"...and one night - I remember this shit, we were both just completely wasted - Lenny was going on and on about some money management magazine for athletes he was going to start up. That dude was always fucking crazy!"

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: +1

@Hatey McLife: It turns out I'm genetically predisposed to that shit.

Mista Lova Lova....mmm