Davis' lawyers will surely petition for a writ of habeus corpse.

Do-it-yourself abortions.

DREW: Sometimes, when you sit down and take a dump, do you secretly wish the poop was going in?

A Phillykakke? So, like, drinking a cup full of cheesesteak?

goddman?

Good thing I never did name a son "Herschel" - I would've had to keep having more and coming up with new names.

Sorry everyone, but $1400 is just way too much money for me to pass up.

@The Ghost of Donnie Moore: Don't sell those tickets and you will regret it every single time you wished you had $1400.

@The Lunesta Portion Control Intern: Wait - what did I do? I'm confused.

"Sorry" - Ruben Studdard

@SagerBombs: I guess I should head that way the next time I'm going out and hoping to bump into a "celebrity".

@twoeightnine: Wow. Well done.

There is only one reasonable response to this:

Either someone is banging something very loudly and with remarkable regularity, or the girl who lives above me is....um....having a good time.

@Yostal: I thought it was me.

@Yostal: Wow - well, thank you very much. I look forward to it.

@Yostal: Do the Killers have a third album (not including "Sawdust")? Other than Ryan Adams and the Cardinals' new CD coming out today, I know virtually nothing in terms of post-1980 music.

Evening, DUAN.

Funny - Kige's doctor said the same thing.

Charles Barkley Realizes that Isiah Thomas Suicide Jokes Don't Play Well at Press Conferences