I'd Jerricho her Cotchery.

Black kids can now aspire to be sportswriters because Scoop Jackson does it so poorly.

@Jews For Purple Jesus: I was about to make a Trig joke, but it would not have been as good as yours. Well done, sir.

@The Mighty Pigs: Well done.

@stealofthedraft: plus won

@The Gizmo from Pismo: The mere suggestion that Dales is hotter than EA got your first word disemvoweled.

Hopefully, we've got a Rays fan for life - a Jonny Gomes fan for life.

@Barry Lutz: +1

Kentucky takes their basketball VERY seriously. Half-assing it would result in continually losing in the first round of the NCAA Tournam—oh, whoops.

Upon landing at the bottom of the ravine, the players' bodies were then subjected to the playing of an entire Toby Keith CD.

Barry: "We could've drank 40 gallons of booze"

Alright - I'm out, everyone (the old lady is calling).

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Definitely agree with your last point - but I still think that Ryan's surrounded by very little talent (at least very little experienced talent) in Atlanta. What he's doing there with a makeshift O-line, no receiving targets outside of Roddy, and a no-name defense* is rather incredible thus…

@Disgruntled Goat: Stewart Mandel wrote an interesting little bit on [SI.com] last week that more eloquently stated what I tell friends all the time during drunken college football shit-talking: Ohio State (unlike, say, USC) actually does what is required to make it into national championship scenarios and loses to…

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Yeah, Matt Ryan may end up being better - but for all of the jabs Vick took from fans and media nationally, he was more successful in terms of wins and losses than any Falcons QB I can recall (which, to be fair, isn't saying much)....and was the rare Falcon - since maybe Deion Sanders? -…

@Yostal: Is it bad that I don't want Matt Stafford to be drafted by the Lions, even if it meant he'd go #1 overall?

@Disgruntled Goat: I know I'm not supposed to say this for fear that my SEC homer friends may disown me - but Ohio State really does get a raw deal, reputation-wise.

Evening, DUAN.

two Rockets players arrested outside of Ryno's Bar & Gril on Sunday morning after a drunken fight

I'm already cringing at the awkward moment when Stuart Scott says, in regards to a sweet dunk by journeyman forward Reggie Aides, "Aides is just killin' folks!"