That just made me LOL way more than I probably should have, but damn it was a good LOL.

That's what threesomes are for.

Only for the singing parts. Otherwise it was B.D. Wong.

Yeah, I'm thinking the distinctly "Western" look of this "Chinese Barbie Ling" is more than a bit of a turn off. You can't slap some vaguely oriental fabric and black hair on a doll and call it Chinese Barbie. Jeeezus.

Krum is adorable. He'd totally make you pancakes in bed the next morning, too.

This would be a tough decision

Let's get down to business...

11. 10. 3.2. Also —

Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. C'mon, he's wearing a tuxedo! Hawt.

Like we hot ass fatties want to wear your ugly ass clothes and look like everyone else.

Unrelated but:

Rejoice XLs and XXLs, now you too can look like a rapey frat boy!

The Late-Terminator.

I like to think of my uterus as the abortion ferrari.

His reasoning that he plagiarized your work is that he had exams that same week? Really? We've all been there. No matter whether it was high school or college or graduate school, we've all been there, and yet most of us are able to get by without plagiarizing the work of someone else. I once had four papers and two…

I am such a dork, I'd have asked the professor what she would have graded me. Ha.

Actually, "abortion machinist" is one of the few blue-collar jobs left in America today.

My dad is one of those listeners. My husband is in the military. Whenever he brings up birth control and how he shouldn't pay for it I simply remind him that he is already paying for millions of women's birth control via the military, including my own. I then make it even more personal and say how his tax dollars are…

Omg. Can I get that on a vanity plate?!?! ABRTNMCHN. Does that work?? CAN I HAVE IT? ON A MUSCLE CAR? THAT I ONLY DRIVE WHILE WEARING AVIATOR SUNGLASSES?? NOW, PLEASE.

A baby-making machine until menopause, then a pie-making machine.