We should just borrow some points from the Mexicans.

She's purdy.

The power of Christ compells you!

I think the vuvulezas sound quite nice on Univision. What helps is that while I might only understand 20% of what the announcers are saying, at least they are more into the game than the insipid ESPN/ABC guys. The US announcers sound like they're in a library while the Univision crew sounds like they're at a party. …

Have you ever heard of a Dodge Stratus and V6 performance? Moron!

•Take the stairs.

Fruit Roll-Ups, Fruit by the Foot, or Fruit Leather?

Great, now Milton Bradley has motive for his next temper tantrum.

"Wait. So you're saying that being anti-government is COOL now? I have the worst timing."

From my cold dead hands!

I should have known it all along. That's why "Pay Heed, All Who Enter: Beware of the Phog!" was tattooed on the small of her back.

You're with me hat.

The Temecula Padres!

Great moments in poop history.

Whew. Well at least that finally takes Terry Francona off the hook.

Then what the hell was Dr. Pepper doing sponsoring all of those conference championship games?

What's Tebow doing posing for pictures with one of Jeff Dunham's characters?

Can't you people see? Winning coaches are the true heroes!

Well the last thing I want to see after the Verizon Wireless halftime report and before the Bridgestone halftime show presented by Pepsi is some two bit political group telling me how to think.

Forecasting future hotness based on current teenage conditions? No way. You need to look out for slightly thin, awkward, but not too hideous female classmates who have moms without a front butt. Keep your eyes peeled and be nice to them. You’ll thank me in about 10 years.