I cannot top Kente Cruiser.

“They all taste like somebody started to make a candy bar and then died halfway through.”

eventually fired a month later after multiple write-ups for being on his phone.

WTF is wrong with people? 

Racism in Oregon??!!! Well I for one am just shocked!!!

I use spreadable margarine.

So I guess now, of all things, Subway thinks that slicing lunchmeat in front of you, ala Jersey Mike’s, is going to convince you of its quality. As far as I’m concerned, this is largely pointless and is simply going to slow down the already slow line.

On each day you are getting two BMTs, though.

Just keep tamping them down so they don’t settle too much later.

You think the Freedom Convoy had that good a grasp of grammar rules?

How fucking fast were they going? They just went full send into that hole. Did they think if they went fast enough they’d clear it? How did they not stop in time to not drive off the end of the road?

That is the correct answer.

Just have the emergency guys stop showing up. Eventually the sink hole will get filled with cars so they can just pave over it and fix it faster.

YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

Really missing out by not naming her Kyrgyzstan.

She’s saving that one for her son. 

Chad was RIGHT there, lady.

Why? I think it’s time the robots had a crack at running things. Humans have done a pretty fucking terrible job.

“So I’m at the doctor and they say I have terminal cancer, but then they say it’s okay cause they’re gonna put my brain in a robot body. And this is it! This is the robot body. You’re looking at it! Looks just like my old body, but it’s a robot. And I tell you, it takes some getting used to. I don’t eat anymore,…

I once bought a doughnut and the guy gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I thanked him and moved on. I needed that receipt.