“Quick question: what the hell does a “drug recognition expert” have to do to determine that a car full of women were stoned?”

Darth whatever is pissed.

Just wanted to say that your username is definitely in my top five clever usernames.

“Is Robert Himler still a thing?”

The guy who can afford to buy, but can't afford to run

Nah, I think you’re thinking of He’s Just Not That Into You. Also terrible, but slightly less misogynistic.

Good Kinja.

You saw what happened the last time a Black person went to China. You wouldn’t want one of those Black people exiting from the front of the plane, now would you?

“I assume you nothing about cars”

“Ford Focus SEL - Now with improved dampening rates because we are BOLD and COURAGEOUS and WE ARE THE FUTURE”

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank you for this easy guide. I keep telling my fellow NC voters that this is more than just a bathroom thing and its gross to me everytime I see McCrorys stupid face tell me he’s just looking out for the children THE SWEET DEFENSELESS WHITE CIS CHILDREN.

Engineer: “Tim, what is the plan on the new phone?”

Cook: “Lose the jack, ain’t no going back. We got little to lose and much to gain because in my brain is a capitalist migraine. If upgrading the accessory becomes necessary then we see double green... shipping cash to Ireland know what I mean?”

Trying to imagine any other manufacturer of consumer goods putting on such a self-indulgent, self-congratulatory, and self-important farce of a launch for a barely-different new model is hilarious. “Ford Focus SEL - Now with improved dampening rates because we are BOLD and COURAGEOUS and WE ARE THE FUTURE” Apple as a…

FIRST!!!!1!1

Apple must’ve just been bored with the normal approach of fucking over customers.

No, it says a witness chased the clown with a machete which who the fuck carries machetes areound all casual like.

Hey - sorry for the delay. I was hearing this third-hand as thankfully neither Uncle Joe nor I were on the test drive. It was a Ford dealership in Northeast PA - Wilkes-Barre. It was around November, and the roads up there will get cool and a little wet.

Let me know when they start making more coupes.

Probably because they don’t feel safe in his tiny baby hands.

Every day is Independent Contractor Day, for some of us.