Watch Kristen Wiig leap into the air as Cheetah in a new set video.

More like Baby Face Kavanaugh, amirite? 

I can attest to the fact that even if you are making somewhere in the arena of $150k, they do not throw availability at you. They scrutinize your finances pretty thoroughly regardless.

I’m totally unrelated news, Anthony Kennedy voted to legalize sports betting while lobbying for Kavanaugh’s appointment

Take it from me and don’t get your hopes up...having said the same thing going into every birthday party I’ve had in my adult life, it never is, and you’ll only end up disappointed.

1099K’s are issued by Stubhub if someone has $20,000 in gross sales or more than 250 sales during a calendar year.

Please let it be male prostitutes.

Please do my taxes.

Sounds like my stupid ass ex-brother-in-law who hid his gambling problem by, I shit you not, taking cash advances off credit cards and using that money. 

Well, if it's in the 200k range, that may be more than his yearly take home pay. That is not chump change.

Cocaine’s an upper. The Nationals are clearly downers, so probably a heroin reference.

Thankfully it was only the Nationals. World Series tickets are outrageously expensive. 

I’m pretty sure Trump isn’t going to hold someone responsible to a standard that he himself cannot meet.

Here’s my altogether-too-early theory:

Irrespective of how it got magically paid back, that’s an outrageous amount of personal debt (not counting student loans or mortgage) for a well-educated, relatively well-compensated, and medically insured professional with children to incur let alone carry. If I could consider personal finances when hiring and a…

I must be getting old because I no longer recognize new euphemism for cocaine. 

The money totally fell off a truck, honest!

That man has one of the worst cases of Aged Baby Face that I have ever seen. That is just deeply unfortunate.

Don’t worry. Once that Nigerian bank releases his funds, Kavanaugh will clear up everything.

Sounds like a ticket flipper not reporting all his income. Does Stubhub issue 1099s?