Ross can!

President Obama and kids and the influx of pictures made my day. Here’s my favorite video.

When you’re with someone for almost a decade and they leave you, one of the hardest things to get used to is not having someone to come home to. Not having someone to come through the door at night after work and tell you about their day. No one to fall asleep with, no one to wake up to. I don’t have to plan my day…

We are ALL Neil deGrasse Tyson’s subordinates and you know it.

How very strange. Because I too want to lick The Rock’s legs. Or his chest. I’m not picky.

“An embrace from Maggie Smith almost certainly guarantees immortality,”

Rachel: Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion, okay? Oh, oh, and on page two he’s not ‘reaching for her heaving beasts’.
Monica: What’s a ‘niffle’?
Joey: You can usually find them on the ‘heaving beasts’.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. So I’m not a great typist
Ross: Wait!…

My new spirit animal.

This is precisely why I can’t have roommates.

I’m pissed at her, because what the fuck about those of us who aren’t creative? Apparently we are doomed to lovelessness. Fuck that.

Low self-esteem? IDK, I have this same problem and that’s why I no longer date.

Why do people have shitty taste in other people?

I sincerely first read the title as: Andie MacDowell Booted From First Class, Moved to ‘Tourist Class’ Like Some Kind of Animal.

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change color?

Tee hee. And if you’re wearing a condom: sleepy peepee in a tepee.

Erectile dysfunction = sleepy peepee.

So the hero of one version of Robin Hood died today, and the villain of another version of Robin Hood died today...

I thought this was common sense, too. What kind of goddamn filthy animal just chomps down on it? The same kind that allows food to touch on their plate, that’s who.