Likewise, Riley Cooper keeps wondering why "Uncle Tom" keeps texting him.

actually, beyonce is good.

Why did Kanye let her finish?

so, traffic nightmare, check

How do you live with yourself

Maybe Manziel is on the bench for his own sake.

He's just answering the question, "How many minutes do you expect to play this season?"

Of course Johnny Douchebag has one of them.

Flippin' birds, throwin' ducks.

It's nice to finally see a cop in the news who willfully stops himself before overstepping the boundaries.

"Oh, what a great time to show restraint."

This can't possibly be real.

Don't sleep on the annoyed shove Berman gives him at the end, either.

Csonked

Too bad for the victim. If he had just held out a little longer, York had an engagement ring waiting for him.

The trick is you have to actually be funny if you're going to 'go there'. This was "grayed out Try-Hard Deadspinner comment #246" level of humor.

Well, you for starters, apparently.

That wasnt even funny. That just showed your tryin to make a death funny. Therefor you my friend, are a piece of shit

Yeah, man, its totally cool to make jokes about a human being losing his life! Jesus, out of a fucking writer for Gawker, too. Horrible.