THAT'S ACTUALLY THE BEST OUTFIT EVER.

I tried so hard when I was little to get my parents to get married so that I could be a flower girl. They refused and continued to live in sin, so my best friend and I have promised each other that we can be flower girls in each other's weddings.

Wow. That is scary. :(

Ever since I saw an epic flower girl meltdown at my cousin's wedding (she vomited, turned on her heel, and ran the other way ... the flower girl, not my cousin), I have been completely unenthused by small children dressed up as miniature brides and grooms, walking down the aisle, holding chalkboard signs that say…

What a great idea. I'm using this for all kinds of formal wear ideas for my 8-year-old, whose favorite place to be is the boys' section of Old Navy.

When I was about 6 or 7, I was in the lesbian wedding (I think it was more of a commitment ceremony held as a wedding, considering gay marriage was legal nowhere in America then) of my parent's friends. Except I, the girl, was the ring bearer and the boy was the flower "boy". I dressed in a frilly white dress, with…

I love the pink velvet jacket "look"!

My husband used to think that going to the gyno was one sort of party. So I made him go and sit at the far end of the table. At one point he was so horrified, he told the doctor to stop. The vaginal speculum made him tear up. 20 years later, he still brings me flowers, candy, and apologizes after every appointment.

Fuck that guy for insinuating there was something that need fixing.

Wow, yeah that is blatantly inappropriate. I don't want any sort of compliments about my looks, as mundane as they may seem, while I'm spread eagle and incredibly vulnerable. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Once had a lady doc (WHOSE LAST NAME WAS HYMEN, NOT EVEN KIDDING) who told me I had "soft and supple breasts." Sigh.

Oh, girl! I had a gyno subbing for my doc compliment my tightness*! Squick! I'm so sorry that happened to you.

*It's a woman doctor-only place.

I will buy pretty much anything made for dancers, haha. Apparently they will not tolerate shoddy clothing!

Dude, my fishnets from Capizio lasted 5 years. FIVE YEARS! I wore the hell out of those things, and they were still tight and pitch black. I snagged them walking while drunk. That is the only reason I need new ones.

I now want to buy Danskin and your life sounds awesome.

I swear it's not me – every sentence out of that man's mouth made no sense.

NO. I didn't have an A in Fabric Sciences but I can still tell you, pilling has almost everything to do with the quality of the fibers used in the knitting process... length / mixture of the fibers specifically. If you've got a cheap blend with short fibers twisted in, there will be hella pilling. Synthetics pill less…

You're supposed to wear them to the grocery store, or to Starbucks, and when you go to the drugstore to pick up prescriptions. How else are people supposed to know that you've got $90 to blow on casual clothes?

I have four or five pairs of Lululemon pants that are all at least 3 years old. How do I say... ah, yes, I do not have a thigh gap. And I have a huge ass, but not a single pill on any of my pants. If the new fabric is pilling, it's the fabric and not asses.

So basically, standing in one spot and being very thin is really the only way to wear Lululemon pants?