Inside sources are saying that Kim's lost all of her autonomy

"she's dating a BMX biker naked Corey"

Awesome, you.

So let me get this straight. DuchessOfDork, who I already consider one of the coolest commenters here, is even cooler than I knew?

I met my husband at 18 in the dorm I lived in. He was cleaner, smarter, taller, and handsomer than me. It felt like a pretty big win.

I met my fiance while I was "flaunting" my post 5 beers body on a fraternity dancefloor, true story. Then I barfed, and had my period in his bed...

Gag. Also, the triangle-shaped cake resembling "blood...the circle of life" is just too much. I'm sure they would say that's my jealousy talking. But no, it's just my bullshit meter clanging off the charts.

It's wonderful they've found each-other. Now they can spend the rest of their lives with their perfectly manicured hands entwined while gazing into each-other's violent-aqua eyes, studiously ignoring us poor, dull and mildly irritating normals. Or as my mother would say: sounds like they saved two other people.

“I had no sense of Atlanta,” he said. “I would watch CNN and see these women with big hair, and think wistfully, ‘That’s where Anne is, and she seems nothing like those big-haired women.’ ”

Oh, brother. These fucking people. Can we abolish the "Vows" section of the NYT already, please? It's literally just a place for plebs to gawk at rich people and feel inadequate. PLEASE, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR HEIRLOOM LACE AND YOUR CAKE SWORD AND YOUR WASTEFUL AND EXTRAVAGANT INTERNATIONAL JETSETTING.

I'm sorry, but does this woman actually have a plastic bird inserted into her hairdo? Someone, please click on the link and assure me that I am not seeing things. And those white side poofs in her attendant's hair are just horrid.

Cut to 6 years later. They both travel too damn much to see each other, he finds her to be difficult and flighty, she finds him stodgy and boring. They have a spectacularly dramatic divorce. She goes back to the stone hut and drinks.

Elisabeth van Lawick van Pabst-Koch

A Cyrus-Hemsworth union would yield children with lively, expressive brows. That being said, I mentally refer to Liam as "The Lesser Hemsworth" because, in my mind, he's got nothing on Thor.

marry me, meagan hatcher-mays. please and thank you.

"I am a good person at heart and I have matured and have taken this as a massive learning experience."

The first rule of rape club is, you're a terrible fucking human being for being in rape club.

"I really wish something could be done."

People have always been stupid. The Internet just made it more obvious.