I grew up a white girl in a yuge Mexican neighborhood & my friends always joked about how they could tell where the lah came from by discerning, through smell, which population of Mexicans had peed on it. This was in the early ‘90s. Like, Chihuahua piss smells different from Sonora piss, or something. That was their…

Fruit fuckin’ trips me out

I live for trail runs, but I have NEVER pooped during one. I can’t run after eating though.

Google responds differently to different users (I am always signed in). I never search anything related to boy bands so it makes sense it wouldn’t give me the Carter I was looking for. It was giving me Linked In profiles of lawyers & engineers, crap like that. That’s all.

DATED LINDSAY LOHAN. Got it.

I promise I’m not a troll and I do in fact know how to use google, but I legit cannot find any info about who this kid is, and I‘ve lived in FL for 10 years. (Well, 28 is not a kid, but he seems to think he’s one.) None of my texting buddies or coworkers know who he is either, or they don’t want to admit knowing…

I’m so glad I never started a Facebook account.

Actually that sounds like a perfect back story and I can't believe it doesn't already exist.

Ikr? How does anybody who was alive in the ‘80s NOT remember how the Reagan administration ignored a whole generation dying? AIDSgate was a thing. For women they called it “wasting disease” ‘cause they thought it was something different, ‘cause they didn’t understand how it was spread yet. Remember that? I can’t…

Oy vey, I know right!

Nah, Sophie’s gown is Miami-licious! (But in Miami we wear more Spanx.)

You only have to spend six months out of the year here to establish FL residency, and our taxes are waaaaay lower than most states, especially NY.

The Gentlemen! Ewwww!!!!

THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE

Haha I would always order the most expensive or exotic thing on the menu as a little brat, so my mom would order a plate of spaghetti noodles or chicken fingers. That way when I discovered that, at six, I hadn’t yet developed the palate for escargot or lobster stuffed with crab, she could trade plates with me.…

I witnessed it with my own eyes as a child, the 14 yo next door (who looked like a 12 yo) getting his skull fractured & ribs broken. They were a heroin-selling family but he had nothing on him; he just ran when they called him so they chased him & beat him down. Almost killed him.

Real talk. The DV levels have got to be similar to those among military families. My brother is one of those cops that rats out other, dirty cops & has testified against them more than once. I’m proud of him for that, but I still know that overall he’s not a great guy & I keep my distance & try not to think about it…

As the sister of a Chicago cop, I fully endorse this statement.

They’re settin’ up franchises...

I thought she meant her friend was hungry. Guess there’s two different ways to interpret what she meant.