I'd like to see some smart-ass AI produce 9 seasons of Matlock.

Meanwhile my dumbass Roomba keeps getting stuck between the wall and the couch.

Look at Burt Reynolds over here with 35 followers.

It's borderline unreadable.

Wow, a hagiography for LBJ? For fuck's sake. I can't wait for next year's Robert Byrd biography that gives a poignant portrayal of his heroic opposition of the Iraq War, and completely ignores the previous 60 years of his life.

::Samantha Bee and Jason Jones immediately move to Iowa::

I'm somehow related to Zachary Taylor. When I was a kid it was a big deal in our family when they tested him to see if he was poisoned. My Grandmother didn't want them to do it, I remember her saying something like what are they going go do if he was poisoned? Dig up the people who killed him and put their skeletons…

DeBarge already has all my money.

He's really an insane-middle-aged-Estonian-midget-prostitute.

There's a real doomsday clock. It's not just a thing in the Watchmen. It's currently set at 2.5 minutes to midnight, which means absolutely nothing.

It would probably need to go back as far as 1992-ish. So basically you have a 25-year long media conspiracy set up to make sure Hillary Clinton never becomes POTUS. I guess that's possible. But it's also possible that a person who lost the 2008 Democratic nomination to a first term Senator that nobody had ever heard…

Yes, because absolutely nothing that could possibly be discrediting was known about the Clintons before 2016.

I like the keyboardist's nurses uniform.

Weird Al is more punk than Green Day.

Just bring back Trophy Wife.

I don't know, Burkett probably got it from whatever Kerry intern happened to be doing gopher work that day. Dan Rather, integrity? Seriously? Shit, Rather was considered a joke even before that stuff happened. Dude was a hack.

The source is of the Killian Documents isn't a mystery, it came from a former Texas National Guardsman named Bill Burkett, who was working with the John Kerry campaign, and who CBS producer Mary Mapes knew was working with the Kerry campaign, but used the documents anyway. The "it was a plot by the Bush people to…

You could play Sabotage over a couple of scenes from An American Tail and you'd pretty much have the same thing as this.

I can't believe people still accept the "iceberg" theory about what sank the Titanic.

Relax friends, the Kinja will soon be here, and then…the serenity of the void will embrace us all.