Yeah, this didn't turn out well for Tom and Nicole. No one wants to see married sex.

Goddammit. Why do they get the rain? Send that shit west!

A lady who lunches at the country club!

Seriously. She's 17!

I listened to his audiobook, and he is the reader for it. That's kind of how he is and it's especially self congratulatory read in his own voice. I still like him, though.

No getting laid where you get paid, dude.

Yeah, my rabbit pushes my cats out of the way when they're eating, to get to their catfood. I have to feed him with his food first to avoid this.

When I brought a rabbit into my house my cat suddenly started coughing up a hairball a day. I figured that she was going in and grooming him.

Someone needs to tell that baby to let sleeping dogs lie.

I just can't stomach traps. Hunting, whatever, but trapping really bothers me.

I thought they were! Mine is such a lonely boy! He goes nuts when the kitties come to visit him. He loves company.

Yeah, I mean I have a bunny and I wouldn't eat him, but he was actually procured in the first place in the hopes of breeding for meat. The person who originally got him didn't do the research and that type of bunny actually isn't a great meat source. Anyway, I wound up with him and he's a big sweetie. I don't even eat…

Yeah, I don't see many pluses for Paris, but people are always erroneously criticizing her treatment of her animals. Apparently she does actually keep them all in luxurious splendor. She even has a dog mansion.

Seriously, I mean why is Robin Williams so sexy to me? Funny and hairy!

Or, as they say, amonds.

Not really. I know a lot of almond farmers. A lot. And none of them are really worried. They're making money hand over fist. Almonds are huge money and they have deep deep ag wells. It's worth the risk to them, which is why everyone I know has planted almonds for their retirement crop.

Not really, these dudes will run their wells until they run dry. And then, because they're rich from all the almond trees they planted, they'll pay to dig deeper wells. And then, when those run dry, they'll pay for water from where ever they can get it. And they'll still be rich because almond trees are huge money.…

The dog was pretty nervous to begin with. Poor guy, he doesn't like those kitties.

Ugh. Katie Holmes is almost unrecognizable in that hat picture. I didn't think it was possible for her to get any weirder after Tom Cruise.

Once again, Jezebel readers are doing the research the writers should be doing. This is kind of an important part of the story. Thanks.