Whoa at the number of RTs on Anna’s account. That’s One Direction levels of fanbase.

I hope he’s Ashley Madison’s next victim.

I imagine seeing Ellen Page go at him in person was glorious and (I can’t believe I’m saying this, fuck state fairs), I wish I had been there to see it.

Oh Mindy. It’s

I can’t be on Twitter right now because apparently Ellen Page called out Ted Cruz at some state fair shit in Iowa and the first tweet I saw was someone saying “Ted Cruz is confronted by irrelevant actress Ellen Page and takes her down beautifully”

From Tig Notaro’s Netflix Documentary in which she’s talking about a guy who commented about the size of her breasts. But I feel like it applies to this guy in general.

All together now!

Yeah, his thesis about Edith Wharton was that she punished her heroines because she wasn’t attractive herself. (Read: not attractive according to Jonathan Franzen.) That’s pretty sexist, buddy!

*War orphan looks around at situation*

You talk shit about Edith Wharton, we can take this outside, Franzen. I will kick your ass.

Like are we supposed to be amused by his casual tone regarding war orphans? Haha, remember that time we thought about lifting a child who has witnessed horrible atrocities out of poverty and giving him/her a new family, but then we didn’t because that’s obviously fucking crazy. Hahahaha.

It’s like he’s never even seen one of our trophy cases.

I thought that was the joke.

right? like its right there in the manifesto

Fortunately, that Iraqi child told Franzen “yo dude, Freedom blew” and that was the end of that.

“Iraqi orphan considered allowing himself to be adopted to better understand self-obsessed old white dudes.”

Jonathan Franzen is so far up his own butthole he’s about to create a singularity