Phrenology. He’s got the sloping temples of a murderer.

To steal from The Onion’s TV show, she’ll be tried as a black man.

Is it awful of me to admit I thought she was an actress rather than a feminist, and was surprised she was still alive?

It doesn’t hurt that Clinton and Richards are about 19x smarter than anyone else in the room.

No one is doing any kind of “sexual policing.” No one is forcing anyone to have sex with someone they don’t find attractive. But it’s worth doing some deeper thinking as to why you have the preferences that you have. You can have sex with whomever you want, but don’t think that who you are attracted to is strictly…

Dude I am so sorry that being the singer of switch foot didn’t work out for you but calm down.

bc she’s actually in love with Karlie Kloss

“Andre, take me to Red Lobster.”

Their voters are better at showing up.

“Business hours are OVER, baaaybee.”

You say that you want some more/Well I’m not surprised/But I am quite sleepy

“When you’re with me, girl, / You only need two minutes. / ‘Cause I’m so intense!”

Seriously, as a 25 year old who’s never had sex, where is everyone having all of this sex?

Fuck everything about this movie and Roland Emmerich. If he’s not interested in providing a representative account of queer and LGBT activists, not interested in challenging straight audiences, and not interested in putting himself into the movie as anyone other than the protagonist... what exactly is he doing making…

If wanting more of Lady Mary being bitchy to Edith is wrong, well, I’m just never going to get right.

It’s like Huckabee recently saw “Dred Scott” somewhere, and as part of his Self-Improvement September, challenged himself to use “Dred Scott” in a sentence once a day.

Do you think Fox would hire me to teach basic US history and civics to their employees? No? Well, I’d probably become an alcoholic anyway.

Don’t worry. Everybody will assume she’s a typical rude-ass American, anyway. That is our gift to you, our Northern Brothers.