I’m kind of hoping there’s a new IG-11 unit that shows up in each episode and the Mando kills each of them in different ways.

Anyone gonna take up the challenge of asking her how, if God created Adam (1) and Eve (1), and “Husband and wife need to be the same race” because “that’s how it’s been from the beginning,” how we have different “races” in the first place?

Fuck’s sake, it’s common knowledge that the wind is caused by trees sneezing, so as long as we’ve got a few forests and maybe some jungle about, there should be plenty of wind to go around.

I know it’s a joke, but it really isn’t that far from reality:

Sure, Amell might be embarrassed right now but this serves as a first rate audition for my upcoming epic C’mon, Man, I’m Wide Open: The Christian Hackenberg Story.

Trump says the house was robbed, Cummings says they were scared away almost immediately. Many people are saying Trump has inside information about this intrusion and that he personally hired the person. I’m not saying that I’m just saying what many, many people are saying.

Because it is never not worth it to show people the truth of the Holocaust, even if they're race-baiting antisemitic pieces of shit.

Nothing screams “keep politics out of sports” like whining to the president about your sports book.

I’m just teasing ya. My dad actually grew up in Sheffield...

Look, they should pay the players, but the only person who would call a 25x14 foot TV “dumb shit” is a hater who does not have a 350 square foot television.

It doesn’t take much to trick someone from Arkansas. I used to sell Cheerios there as donut seeds. 

It’s true, Albert, you really are the price of shot.

Lefkoe: Alright, now we’ll bring on former Rams coach Jeff Fisher, thanks for coming on. First question for Jeff: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Right? There’s nothing about going to the moon that jives with capitalism. Stuff Steve Ducey’s head up Hegseth’s ass, stuff Hegseth’s head up Ducey’s ass, and let them exist as a shit-filled donut for the rest of eternity.

Watching Roger Stone end up in handcuffs will be a singularly amazing moment. I hope Mueller throws the book, the sequel to the book, the prequel to the book, the book spinoffs, the TV script for the book, the movie script for the book after the TV series, the script for the edgy reboot of the TV series of the book,…

“I meant everything I said, I’m just not comfortable with the people who agree with it.”

Someone get this guy on a big-league roster tomorrow.

Also, Kevin if yall are charging food expenses to Univision plz send me Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Just as we know more about Star Wars than George Lucas, we know more about Die Hard than Bruce Willis.

10 points to Gryffindor. That much closer to winning the House Cup, and Dumbledore didn’t even need to hand out completely arbitrary Deus Ex Machina points.