"I like Senators who don't get Glioblastoma"

"What's so Civil about War anyway?"
—General Axl Rose

The Underground Railroad will be a literal Underground Railroad.

Seth hurt himself in his confusion

Just be yourself! But like a really handsome, smart and funny version of yourself. It also helps to have a claim to the Iron Throne and be on her grandmother's good side.

Well they make up for it by having a ton of coked out dogs running around.

A Paul Ryan Double Down is a puppy soul sandwiched between two orphan souls. It's finger lickin' good.

I read that headline as 'a weekend of exhausting feces.' The picture didn't help.

*Puts on headphones blaring Rage Against The Machine, goes to work*

The '90s got really lost in world-building and failed to piece together a coherent narrative.

If Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, then Paul Ryan is definitely the Slender Man.

Gary Busey is like 60% plumbers tape at this point.

"Hey Joe, where are you goin' with that gun in your hand?"

*Socked in the face by enormous chicken*

I like to think that Ted Williams is stuck in purgatory right now because his frozen body parts have been divvied up among his children and only the complete Ted is eligible for entry.

Well, Seth McFarlene's sense of humor seems to be frozen in time so this checks out.

I'm pretty sure it represents the holy trinity. The Father, The Son, and the Father's older brother who used to be a cool uncle, but has now devolved into a Fox News watching couch slug.

If you couldn't find them after 8 hours, you should have called AAA.

Oh God, that means 'Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd' was actually given a theatrical release. There was a scene where Harry puts chocolate in his pants, sits on a radiator, and the girl he's trying to ask out thinks he just shit everywhere.

"Back in 'Nam all we had to keep us warm was chewing gum and cartoons. And hooch maids, but I'll tell you more about that when you're a bit older son."