Hollywoo Confidentia

Pretty one-sided to be honest.

The natural conclusion

Better than nothin' I s'pose.

The bar curls up in the corner and begs for mercy, but no quarter is given…

Mess with the law, and you'll be eatin' pig one way or another.

That'll do pig

Jokes sold separately.

This newswire is brought to you by the Catheter Cowboy. Because 'taking the piss out' just keeps getting harder and harder.

I'm going to be grayer than an elephant's asshole.

Well I'm bedridden like the Elephant Man, only slightly funnier according to my mom.

Just please don't mess with sasquatch

I didn't see one single joke in this newswire. Or was that the joke itself?

The sword's name is Martha. Not quite as impressive as Excalibur, but let's just let the subtext speak for itself, shall we?

"Albert was born in darkness, you merely adopted it."
"Dammit Alfred, get out from behind the giant penny and hand me my bat scuba. And stop speaking in the third person or I'm putting you in a home!"

'Cause you gotta have Faith, you gotta have Faith

You'd think people would have stopped flying Delta after they sold Amelia Earhart to the Japanese.

What are your feelings on green eggs and ham?

We told him not to use the toothbrushes under the sink, but did he listen?

The JZNN is what I call my private RSS feed.