That sucks for her, but at least she can still comment of the AV Club so it's not like ALL hope is lost.

Sounds interesting, but I'm concerned over the stated disinterest in both pigtails and sex appeal. Please inform.

*Signs executive order restoring Denali to Mount McKinley*
*Is informed that not all mountains are volcanic*
*Nukes Mount McKinley*
"I win"

What it do baby, it's the ICE man Tall Wall

"My other daughter? Nice try Vlad but Barron already warned me about phishing scams."

Well Mars does resemble a giant cheese pizza so who knows what sort of horror is going on in it's basement.

Bannon can teach Defense of the Dark Arts.

Trump's bullshit is getting so old we'll be able to use it as a fossil fuel pretty soon.

I'd suggest Idris Elba, but I don't believe we as a nation are truly ready for a British President.

Trump's been having a hard time creating the Department of Ass now that Romney stopped letting him flip through his binders of women.

'The Burning Sensations' would be an excellent band name.

Better Luck Next Time, Cyanide

The Tom Hanks of Angst.

Cuck-Man II: I Heart Cuckabees

I'd like to chordially invite you to cool it with the puns.

The Sun is the only thing I can think of that's oranger and filled with more destructive power than our President. And he has the hands and penis of a white dwarf.

He attempted to, but when he went to redeem that free round trip he won over the phone he learned a valuable lesson.

Fyre in the Hole

Makes me think of that mall-based music store chain that they tore down and replaced with a Netflix.

And excluded from all drum circles and massage trains for a minimum of six (6) months.