There is no rich or poor. In the porta-shitter we are all equal.

8 or 10 years ago I used to get a lot of Zach Braff comments (probably the lack of chin.) Now I look more like Fat Braff with an emotional support beard.

That's President Apricot Ballsack to you, mongrel.

Dawes this art make you uncomfortable? Good.

Well that was a relief and a half

Besmirched Lady

Hopefully because the Onion used to be above coupons.

WOW, rude

Chicago, come see this "Real Fake" sculpture in front of Trump Tower for free.

And monkey business is quite unsanitary indeed.

You should have seen what they did with Li'l Sebastian's casket.

And yet my taxidermied Sebulba has been sitting on eBay for weeks without any bids.

Shaggy learned the hard way that Jedi mind tricks can only do so much.

I for one am sick of all the agonizing pain I incur upon engaging in horseplay.

*Becomes temporary anti-vaxxer*

This gives a who new meaning to "Anastasia screams in vain."

*Real Time With Kawaii as Fuck cancelled by HBO*

For the tasty marrow?

*Johnny Depp wakes up next to a gorgeous new wine cooler*
"Bloody thing won't open!"

*whispers*
heisenfurburger