"My apologies Mr. President, I thought you meant the other kind of Waterboarding"

They should have made his statue out of coal.

Way better than a dumb princess anyways.

Ehh, she'll do in a pinch.

I'm pretty sure Anastasia is more his type.

The Mystery of Grape Smuggler's Cove

Trillicon Valley

No one can say the man wasn't creative

Paul Blart: Segway Sex Criminal

As a depressed 20-something from Seattle, Gene Simmons is no longer welcome in my memory mix. His words still sting.

It can be part of the Paul Blart Cinematic Universe.

My brain took me from Russell Brand to Richard Simmons before I finally remembered who Russell Simmons was. What a wild ride!

How great would it be if he really did quit because of his foot injury. Like, it just hurts so bad that he couldn't bear to be a congressman a second longer.

Even if it's just an ego massage, you know that shirt is coming off regardless.

But they're suppose to rev ME up!

I would sure as hell make out with this man in the parking lot of a Chilli's.

Only the lambskin ones

It's a clue about the combination.

Watch them open the vault at long last and find that it's just completely filled with purple condoms.

The Assault of the Moon Monsters is going to make BENGHAZI!!!!1! look like benghazi.