I want to make a gritty reboot of Bazooka Joe. Loaded with grisly Vietnam flashbacks. "Know why they call me Bazooka?" *Annihilates village*

*Gets lost on the way and ends up at Lilith Fair*
*Massive heart attack*
*Constitutional crisis resolved*

Lead by lascivious legs, leading lady leaps languid losers. Burned Buttfleck bumbles back to Boston. I really need to get some sleep.

Twist time: She keeps going back in time, fights in every war, becomes disillusioned with mankind, fights Cheetah in a giant sweat lodge, defeats Egg Fu with relative ease, becomes Empress of Earth, and shit I should really be working for DC. Oh, and she destroys the moon in one punch like blaow.

I bet Glenn Close could pull off a mean Stan Lee if given half a chance.

No arguments here

Tell her to find me an acre of land where I can get balls deep in my mid-life crisis.

Wait right here, I have to run to Coinstar real quick.

Gadon't make me pull this car over!

I think you and I have a different scale when it comes to appraising legs.

You bet! And for a limited time only we'll throw in Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel as a genderswapped abbot and costello meet the wolfman.

This is one Scarborough fair that even Art Garfunkel wouldn't be caught dead at.

You just wait until the release of the Creature From the Black Lagoon starring Alison Brie as a sexy swamp lady.

I've got 5 on it

She flosses with the lasso of truth. Not a speck of plaque can escape the fist of justice.

I'm pretty sure her reproductive system is an elaborate process involving clay, Zeus and magic. Let's not jump to any hasty conclusions.

His butt-chin deserves it's own place on Mt. Rushmore.

I kind of miss starwipe. It had this odd sense of danger and mystique.

I prefer to think of him as more of a pool floaty stick thing. At least wet noodles can adapt to the shape of the bowl.

"Gadot fuck yourself" -Ben Affleck