"Long winter, medium winter, short winter, or summer, all you have to do is call and I'll be there [with incest on demand], yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend."

On the bright side, his porn parody name is his actual name. Clitt Findme, Ball Pryan, Myhole Buttmann, Sperman' Cain, Poop-Shoot Newt and Prick Nary just can't compete with that simplicity.

"Sod off, you mean to tell me you 'aven't watched 'Detectorists' yet? It's bloody brilliant, ya twat! Piss off wanker!"

Speaking of cousins and weddings, that sounds like something Jerry Lee Lewis would wear to a soda fountain next door to a middle school.

"And when you’re a Netflix subscriber, they let you do it. You can choose your own adventure."

If only I were so ambitious.

Quinquagesimal greyscale didn't quite roll off the tongue. And yes I did just grab that word from wikipedia.

I feel kind of dirty having typed all that but it had to be said.

"Dear Viewer,
We know that incest is of the utmost importance to your viewing pleasure, so we postponed production in order to experiment with even more nasty familial pairings. Ancient Stark zombies! Bastards galore! The Dragon's are siblings right?!! The seed is strong indeed.

Oh her? She came with the RV.

Hold on to your sister pal, 'cause boy do I have some news for you!

I've been to Portugal, that's pretty much the same thing right? Kinda weird how everyone speaks Brazilian though.

It's become quite evident that being absorbent and yellow and porous doesn't help much in the face of nuclear devastation.

Well, I guess if everyone is that cousin then it's essentially like nobody is like that cousin. Fortunately, I was never short on unflattering contrasts.

Tucker up buttercup

Well I guess I'm about 13% more likely to attend Bumbershoot this year.
*Checks lineup against price of tickets, cost of taking off work, chronic sciatica*
Yeah, looks like the math checks out.

It's a supercut of stabs, beheadings, and the erotic fantasies of an obese 68 year-old. All-in-all it's a pretty decent program.

It's your own fault for not offering enough sapphires as a reward!

I watched that Jonathan Rhys Meyers show and I have to say it was pretty Vlad Tepid.

I'm strongly hoping pacific, otherwise this is going to be a long and costly uber ride home.