I feel really bad hearting you for your horrible affliction, but this post was so funny that it was inevitable. You and your cooter rock. :)

WIN. I want to do that RIGHT NOW.

Envy, only envy. That shit sounds awesome.

My brother and I did the same thing. It was like a Fight Club, where we never spoke of our injuries or wins and losses to parents or friends.

Which you SHOULD because it's LEISHA HAILEY! She is all that is awesome and girl-loving.

But Leisha Hailey's adorableness saves the day. She is so cute and awesome I just see these ads as her being ironic (even if she's not).

This was so lovely to read, and I am so glad you connected to it so passionately. I looked at the picture for a long, long time, just rejoicing in its happy ending.

Not much of a looker in his older years, Ford was quite the studmuffin.

My goodness, lady is beautiful. Wow, so is her fiance.

I was just thinking that! I think it's a move by the ultra-liberal Catholics to push their homosexual agenda.

I completely agree. While most politicians tend to get under my skin with their politicizing, I feel relieved when I see the continued objectivity (or close to it) by a lot of this nation's top judges.

Art is awesome and yadda yadda yadda, but holy shit, I would wear the hell out of that Mondrian suit.

More proof that God loves us and doesn't want us to run. ;) It's also why I have a nice cushy butt to sit on.

Aw, she's adorable. I raise my mascara wand in salute.

Fried Green Tomatoes, but it's all in how you read their relationship...

I've seen these on big, manly trucks before, and I just don't get it. What guy would want balls hanging from his car? Does his car have balls? Are they the man's balls? And why aren't they attached to his person?

Just what I was going to say.

My mom used to say it when she started to say "shit." Actually, it's cute when she does it.

Do you also think mental illness is completely fabricated, a product of women's "hysterical" tendencies? Or that autism is just another word for "weird"? Seriously, everyone claims to be an expert on this subject that isn't a licensed educator or psychologist. Who are we to decide what's "real"? The children's…

I think a friend would really turn me off if she used those silly swear-replacement words.