This is an actual Subaru dealership in Knoxville, TN, in case you were wondering just how white that name can get.

And then have Lonzo miss 75+ games with the traditional 76ers rookie meniscus tear (with optional fracture)

I genuinely cannot wait to find out that Layla Kiffin is dating Tiger Woods.

Hotel sex is largely undone by the ridiculous expectations you invariably have for it. Being in a nice hotel is like being in international water or just through TSA: every appetite you have suddenly feels entitled to unbridled indulgence. Sure, the duvet is gross, the wallpaper weirdly textured, and I’m pretty sure…

Every 10 year old in the world is utterly unsurprised that a team with Oscar and Hulk got into a huge fight

There must be more enjoyable ways to be despicable than getting owned by your own idols

It looks like Golf R is still kinda king of these for dailying. I’m going to be way happier about fuel efficiency, turning radius, and VW fit/finish than top speed. And since it’ll sit in traffic plenty, I ain’t mad about that DSG acceleration either.

Infinity points for Millenial Rob Deer

I wasn’t going to say anything, but your pump fake could use some work. Remember the order of the look-off: Safety first.

6. Replace grille badge with Acura “A” per mid-90's Honda-modding dogma

But you’ve got such poise

Clearly, you’re from a different part of Kentucky than the rest of us.

If I were half as good as LeBron, I’d be at least twice as sassy.

“Then why don’t they just make whole reporter out of clipboard?”

Unless one of us is Petrino

I don’t really think Love’s game 1 performance makes your point, but yeah I remember.

They’re extremely durable

Always Farnsworth

Wearing sandals to coach a basketball game? He must be saving up for a pair of real shoes.

The good news is that if it dies while you’re heading east, you can put it in neutral and probably coast to at least KC, right?