“Floyd’s an unapologetic abuser of women and the Internal Revenue Service, while Conor is a racist dipshit”

Personally, I’m rooting for the lighting rig to fall.

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

“I have a book coming out...”

As a Cowboys fan, this checks out.

I assume Jake Gyllenhaal is busy?

The only way I’m watching an all star game is if it’s cross sport. I want to see basketball players playing hockey, football players playing baseball, hockey players playing chess, etc.

This whole story was so blatantly ridiculous that I was surprised it wasn’t an email forward from my mother

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

I’M A GOOD BOY I’M A GOOD BOY I’M A GOOD BOY
I’M A GOOD BOY I’M A VERY GOOD BOY I’M A GOOD BOY

Johnson: [gets knocked out cold]

What an amazing woman. I’m crushing hard right now. I hope she has a full recovery and is honoured as the hero she is.

Like hating gays before you kid becomes one.

Top GOP Congressman refers to himself as “David Duke without the baggage.”

whatever. She still won the popular slope.

Does this mean we finally get some more gun control, now? Boy, I hope so.

Thank god they’ve got excellent health care!

They are talking about him looking unhappy and miserable here. Which. That’s how he looks.