These are the same dead enders who proudly fly Confederate flags, remember.

When you scrolling through the want ads, see “Offensive Coordinator,” and think “I could do that.”

contains both egg and chicken

Also appropriate the next time someone asks you if you’re a god.

On the other hand, as an American it’s kinda nice to see the Chinese taking our throne as shittiest tourists on the planet. 

Oh sure. Next you’re going to say I have to look them in the eye and say please and thank you.

We need to revise our bio terror laws, because she needs to be in prison for a very, very, very long time.

On behalf of all french people: Fuck you with a rusty rake.

As someone who is immunocompromised, may I just say: I hope she gets an infected ingrown taint hair that doesn’t heal right for at least a month. 

To be R -naught to be?

The way my kids act when I wont buy them a toy at Target, now I'm wondering. A craving for pancakes might be a sign.

IPA - I’m Pretty Assholish.

Yeah, service animals are a whole different story.  Emotional support animal is the rent-a-cop to the Service animals FBI agent.

“said that an emotional support beer was not automatically welcome on buses or anywhere else without a note from a doctor”

Next time I make an ESB, it’s being named “Emotional Support Bitter”

Brooklyn hipster is a complete dick who trivializes mental health problems for a joke.

Ms. Kelley has every right to wear blackface, and the rest of the world has every right to ridicule her and to choose not to do business with her.

“…the seller claims more than $7,000 in parts having gone into it over the course of the past seven years ownership”

King’s Hawaiian Seats® 

Too many Democrats blame him for 2016