Do you want to get people fired from the Department of Redundancy Department? DO YOU?!

What is this and how can I get one?

Every car I’ve ever driven has had a driver, not a pilot.

When you buy gas, you have to scan your membership card before you scan your credit card. I assume they’ll do something similar at the food court.

March 16 sure sounds like an oddly specific start date for policy enforcement.

I don’t wanna name names, but it rhymes with Ronald Dump.

♪ Doctor Dement-O-o, Doctor Dement-O-o... ♫

But he only saw it 30 seconds at a time.

Wait, rosebud was a sled? Spoilers, dude!

I’ve only heard it as “tits on a bull.”

Baked beans are off!

WE’RE GONNA DIE! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

But only in China.

I personally prefer ‘Americare.’

Quisling.

The point I’m making is, get out and vote, even if your feelings are hurt, or your favorite candidate didn’t win the primary, or any number of fucked-up excuses. Vote as if your life depended on it, because even if it doesn’t, someone’s does.

So if the people who sat at home in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan because “Hillary didn’t come here. Waaah!” got out and voted, we wouldn’t be in the mess we are.

What about 2016? Everyone who stayed home because “I don’t like Hillary so I’m not gonna vote” deserves to rot in hell.

If everybody who says, “My vote doesn’t matter” got off their asses and voted, their vote would matter.