::::reaches for 5lb bag of M & Ms that slid off my belly::::

This thread is giving me a headache; I need an Aspirin.

It’s simple, really:
1: Put the fries on a tray in a toaster oven
2: Set the toaster oven to 250F
3: Turn the timer dial to the darkest toast setting
4: Throw out the toaster oven
5: Go buy fresh fries.

When he says “I think...” in any permutation, it’s automatically 4 Pinocchios. Because he doesn’t.

Earth, air, fire, water,... shit?

But 52 is 4X13, so it’s the Gospels times the Original Colonies! One Nation Under Gawd, dammit!

And not knowing is half the battle.

(Damn Kinja still won’t let me star comments...)

I love it! The best of the bunch!

Wow, even a Tomato can get in a good one now and then!

We need to stop calling it abortion, and call it something like fetus freedom.

Texas County GOP Decides Not to Remove Official for Being a Muslim

“People are afraid of her,” one Democratic aide told Politico.

I had a Hawaiian pizza once with Spam and pineapple. It was quite good.

Not even gonna bother to look if someone posted it already...

“Speak loudly and have a little mushroom dick!”