Oh, c’mon, he doesn’t show up for work until 3pm... and he fucking lives there!!

SPAAAAACE (ace)(ace)(ace) COMMAAAAAND (and)(and)(and)!

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch...

Why don’t Congressmen need bookmarks? Because they just bend over the pages.

With Republicans, you get wasps.

President’s responsibility

Frikin’ gift guides...

But only if you have the stones for it.

What You Need to Know About Golf’s New 2019 Rules

♫♪ I ain’t proud to be a Murkin
‘Cause right now I’m perched on Steve... ♪♫

For $37,500, it better mark a lot of things

Yeah, let’s not bail out the boat while we’re trying to fix the leak.

That is one ugly ass. What did it do, go up a steep driveway while it was still curing?

Your link in the last paragraph that says “The full CBO report” actually links to the Food Stamps program data. #corrections

I’m also noticing that I can’t see any of my notifications.

We’re only on 45. I don’t think we can wait that long.

I now know what I’m going to do when I ask my boss for a raise next week.

So, effectively, they’re defunding Deer Planned Parenthood.